Tuesday, September 23

Oh Jack Lemmon. If I panic, will you grip my face?

I was heartened by the snappy dialogue at the beginning of Airport 1977; Jack Lemmon and his lady friend (Eve) discussed their marriage prospects and he declared that he wanted a wife and children, and not necessarily in that order. How modern and risque Jack!
Sadly, at 50 minutes into the movie (and about 5 minutes post plane crash) Jack is now gripping Eve's face and is likely to slap her out of her panic. Of course Jack is totally calm despite the fact that the plane has crashed into the ocean and is sinking..and must chastise Eva into being helpful.

Things I've learned:

1. If you are in love with a blind piano player, he will really appreciate your earring as a token of affection. He will also die in your arms despite lacking any visible injuries.

2. There might be enough pressure to slowly crack the plane in half, but you'll be able to free dive (well, free swim up) to the surface without any real scuba gear. Also, despite known risks of swimming straight up from deep under, you will be perfectly fine once you're out of the water. Especially when you are needed by your passengers, dammit!

3. The Navy will be really excited to help raise the boat full of people from the bottom of the ocean. They'll be able to use big balloons and float it right to the top!

4. A lot of people will die, but nobody will really care because the important people will all survive. Also, children do not die in disasters. They may be gravely ill, but they survive (thank you Airplane for following the rules..Piranha, take note!)