DM throwback post: Day of the Triffids Mini Series?

I have a weird habit--I search imdb for former A/B list actors and then see if they have made any movies that I might enjoy.

Why former A/B listers only?
Becasue they make all of the 'good' made for TV disaster movies of course!
Nothing like a former A or B lister slumming it up in another snake/shark/catastrophe/tornado movie!

I was trying to look up a specicic original 90210 cast member earlier today, and couldnt' remember the right name. So I guessed, and ended up on the wrong page [note to self: do not confuse Jason Priestly with Luke Perry].

Well,  it all turned out for the best!
Seems Mr. Priestly was recently involved in a remake of The Day of the Triffids, which is one of my favorite creature feature mini-series.

I think that the new version is a BBC remake? But I can't find any release information.
I did find a link for the blu-ray edition (Day of the Triffids [Blu-ray])of the DVD, but it's not even available right now.

Guess I'll have to wait and see if it shows up in Netfix?

Usually scared of zombie/horror movies..but what an interesting idea behind "The Crazies!"

Usually I'm kind of a chicken when it comes to zombie/horror films.
I like the idea (death, doom, gloom) but not all of the brain eating and gore.
I did actually enjoy Zombieland quite a bit, but I still spent a good portion of the film making squeaking noises and trying not to hide.

Anyway, I didn't really have any intention of seeing "The Crazies" in theatres, despite the fact that it stars Timothy Olyphant and I feel a general need to support his work. Since I loved "Deadwood" and I now feel like I should try to ensure his success in other projects..I know, I'm a little nutty.

The previews made the movie look scary, and I like my movies to be heavy on the total annihilation of the plant/citizens and light on the technicolor blood.
Apparently though, there is a whole subtext to the movie that I had not considered.

According to a NYTimes article, this seemingly innocuous horror movie was chosen very carefully. The film is partially backed by Participant, a politically focused film company founded by the first president of eBay.

They seem to think that "The Crazies" provides a venue for political and social discourse--especially as the plot directly relates to issues of weapons security and the purity of water.

While it's not exactly unusual to find rather heavy-handed messages in disaster and/or horror movies (think The Day After tomorrow: ignore climate chance and DIE), I think it's interesting that the movie was produced almost entirely to address ecological and political issues. I guess this would be less surprising in a documentary, or even drama. But a full-tilt horror movie seems like a more original venue to preach this type of message.

Still not sure I'll see it in the theatres..but perhaps I'll now add it to my netflix Q.
Then I can make the screen extra tiny on my computer and hide when it gets gross!

Disaster movie shorthand: Tornado with (!)= B movie fun. Tornado without (!)= bad

Turns out I learned something today.
The movie Tornado! from 1996 is a campy yet fun disaster movie.
The 1994 movie Tornado ( no exclamation piont), is a super strange gypsy curse/devil worship movie that involves what appears to be a vengeful tornado god.

At first, I thought it was going to be a nice straightforward weather menace movie.
The opening scene involves a small boy watching his father get blown away by a tornado.
Seemed like a good start. A little derivative perhaps (a la Twister), but very acceptable.

Then the movie cuts away. The little boy is suddenly all grown up..and talking to his amulet!

I have no idea how/why the amulet is connected to the weather.
I also have no idea why the father had some type of special amulet.

I'm now an hour and a half into this movie, and I still have NO idea why this guy has a special gypsy amulet, or how his family is at all connected to the tornado god.
I also have no idea what the tornado god is doing in a movie at all.
Or why the tornado god is involved with devil worshipers.
Or why there are gypsies in the story.

Really, not a clue.
The only reason I keep watching is to see if they have someone explain the whole darn plot at the end.

So far I've seen 3 tornadoes, and 1 of them occurred in some sort of nightmare sequence.
Some sort of scary face just appeared in the most recent tornado.
I'm assuming that it's the tornado god?

Apparently the tornado god likes eating helicopters, and shooting lightening at the ground.
Normally I'd be opposed to tornadoes having faces, but since the sequence just increased the death count by 5 or 6, I'm feeling forgiving.

Basically, this version of Tornado gets an "F."
No slumming A-list or B-list actors, terrible special effects, nonsensical plot, and NO MASS CARNAGE.


UPDATE:
End of movie. No explanation. The "F" stands.

Cupcake Disaster

-------------------------------------------

I have a confession.
The homemade cupcakes I made the other day are not very good.
They’re too dry and a little tasteless.

In fact, I made another batch…and used a mix.
I just couldn't deal with back to back cupcake disappointment.

The second batch tastes OK.
The cupcakes are still strangely dry and a little crumbly.
Some of them also exploded into my oven.
I had to scrape up burnt batter late last night.

I’m not sure what’s going on.

I’m going to keep trying..but I think I need an internal thermometer for the oven.
Maybe that will help?

Also, is there a trick to cooking with gas?
I had a gas stove once before, but I’m relearning.

I haven’t had so many baked items fail in a long time.

Sad!

Emergency medical service guys are just like ninjas! Aka, my return to blogging

I lost a little of my movie watching mojo over the past few weeks.

I finished my 1st year of grad school (woohoo), went to Italy, moved to NY and started a new job. Somehow blogging just fell by the wayside.

Luckily, Netflix knows me and kept the movies coming.

After catching up on some MI-5, I returned to disaster movies with a classic (kind of..it's from '96): Daylight.

I think it might be the only Sylvester Stallone movie I've ever intentionally watched.

Before you ask, no, have not seen Rocky and I have little to no interest in movies that involve fists to the face.

Anyway, Daylight is the perfect disaster movie for a recent NY transplant..because now I NEVER EVER want to leave the city. If I do, a totally implausible explosion might trap me in the tunnel as the water rushes in and noxious fumes fill the air.

Eek! Scary!

If I'm lucky, Viggo Mortensen might be around (A-list alert!) to try and save the day. Or, a pre-botox Amy Brenneman could hold my hand if I'm scared (B lister with A list name recognition!).

Anyway, I learned a few important things from Daylight.

1. Emergency medical service guys are just like ninjas . Or something like that..they definitely have crazy skills that run the gambit from rappelling to firefighting to blowing things up.

2. Amy Brenneman has become more botoxed, but far less shrill with age. I think I prefer her not being able to move her face. The hyperventilating in this movie was a little annoying.

3. Any disaster movie that involves an older adult couple with inevitably steal from a true classic like Poseidon (ie the feisty older woman dies unexpectedly..leaving the wimpier husband all alone).

4. Tunnels are scary.

I'm not sure "It's supposed to be a B-movie" really counts as a defense...

I'm still giving Tornado a D.

I know it's a shlocky made for TV movie.

But it took itself way too seriously.

The young couple was cute, perky and sooo country.
They didn't take their clothing off, so of course, they survived.

But where's the fun in that?

And all the warnings about global warming?
Come on!
If you're going to do a doomsday movie, at least make it over the top.

I get that it was a made for TV movie (which is really the ONLY reason all those terrible fades and cuts were acceptable), but that's really all they could do?

NO carnage.
NO real drama.
NO charisma between the leads.

Although, it did have Ernie Hudson (of Ghostbuster fame).
Not really an A lister. Maybe a B lister with A lister face recognition.
But still something.

Almost worth watching just to see him salvage the movie.
Almost.

2nd best fire movie..

Ok, so that's not really a fair title.

I've only really seen 2 fire-based disaster movies.

The Towering Inferno, and Backdraft.

The Towering Inferno was the far superior film, but Backdraft was enjoyable.

Partially because of the AWESOME late 1980s/early 1990's outfits.

Please do not let jeweled jackets and shoulder pads come back.

They make movies funny, but do not make real people look cute.

Anyway, Backdraft follows a family of firefighters in Chicago.

Lots of chest-thumping male bonding, but still kind of endearing.

The two grown up brothers (Kurt Russell and one of the Baldwins..the not cute one) are both scarred by the death of their father.

Kurt acts out by being risky and overly heroic.

The unattractive Baldwin tries to run from his past, only to return and embrace that firefighting is in his blood.

There's a minor love story going on, and the movie also follows a series of mysterious arson cases.

The arson investigator is a firefighter played by Robert De Niro.

So, some things I've learned:

1. Ron Howard can save almost any movie. Even a movie that relies upon the 'acting' skills of William Baldwin and Jennifer Jason Leigh.
2. Robert De Niro plays grumpy but dedicated characters really well.
3. Backdrafts are really scary.
4. Plot is almost superfluous when you have lots of cool fire scenes. Which is probably good, given that the plot in this movie is almost superfluous anyway.


Overall, I liked the fire scenes. I also really liked that the (dead) burn victims are somehow not very scary. The one firefighter who is badly injured is just shown all wrapped in bandages. I really really appreciated that they didn't go for shock value.

Also, no kids died. So I was pleased.

Try 2: The Mysterious Island, 1961 version

I'm on a Jules Verne kick.

Not sure why since the last few adaptations have been horrendous.

So far, this one is better.

Still have a few giant animals (maybe I need to re-read the book?), but better.

Although, it's definitely showing it's age.

Apparently the womenfolk are only good for adding 'homey touches' to the cave, while the men do real work.

Oh, and fainting.
I wish the huge turkey (chicken? some type of fowl?) had killed the hysterical female character. At least her aunt had enough sense to attack the thing instead of screaming like a ninny.

This is not The Mysterious Island. It's some pirate movie with a few stolen characters..

I think I need to give up on the Jules Verne adaptations.

The only half-decent one I've seen recently involved Brendan Fraser.
That should tell you something about the quality of the movie.
Actually, that's unfair.
I did kind of enjoy the movie.
It was a new adaptation of Journey to the Center of the Earth.
Shlocky, but fun.

Anyway, I digress.

The movie I'm watching now, is supposed to be The Mysterious Island.

This is not a retelling of the book written by Jules Verne.

It's more like a movie that includes some characters and settings that kind of resembles something written by Jules Verne.

It's like that new zombie Pride and Prejudice book. They had to include Jane Austen in the authorship because she created the characters.

Similar situation here. Except replace zombies and Jane Austen with strangely large animals and Jules Verne.

In fact, it really has nothing to do with the book by Jules Verne.

The book did NOT have large rodents.
In fact, it did not have abnormally large animals of any sort.
It also did not have pirates.
Or a weird love story.

Poor Captain Nemo. He would be so ashamed.

Next Up: The Mysterious Island...ie 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea the Sequel

I've discovered a new rule thanks to watching Mysterious Island:

Don't ever say "what if the rumors about this scary/creepy/strange island are true." If there are rumors, they are definitely true and you are definitely going to die.


And, some things I've learned:
1. Confederate prison camps were staffed by hot, skimpily dressed women (like Fiona from that spy television show Burn Notice).
Seriously. Was there really that much cleavage on display??

2. Holy crap. Movie makers have no shame. They will actually have a hapless human get eaten headfirst by a HUGE praying mantis. Like T-Rex sized.

3. Rather famous actors will do anything when they're between jobs. Even Patrick Stewart.
Soon to be famous actors make movies that will later shame them, like Kyle MacLachlan (Sex & the City, Desp. Housewives).

4. A balloon coming from America can get all the way to the South Pacific with little food, water and a gaggle of people.

5. Really huge rodents have bred...they can now be found in both The Princess Bride and The Mysterious Island.

6. The Mysterious Island is the most derivative movie ever made. In fact, it may be the most egregious example of pure-plot stealing that I've ever seen. Especially for a movie based on a book. Despite a totally unique original storyline, so far we have:
1. Really large rodents (Princess Bride)--see above
2. Pirates looking for a cursed island (every Pirate movie)
3. Pirates attack (Swiss Family Robinson..the movie, not the book)
4. Large snakes (Anaconda)
5. Compound with an electrified fence (Jurassic Park)
6. Small people, big ants (Honey I Shrunk the Kids)

Sticking with Poseidon

I'm still convinced Poseidon is not nearly as bad as everyone thinks:

1. Really a pretty decent cast. Josh Lucas, Kurt Russel, and Richard Dreyfuss.
Although I think I have a weak-spot when it comes to Richard Dreyfuss.
Just because of Jaws.

2. The budget on this was HUGE. In disaster movies you have two options: go big, or go kind of silly. However you feel about the possibility (or lack thereof) of a ship being turned upside down by a rogue wave, the effects weren't bad.

3. The annoying hysterical female character died. You know how I feel about hysterical women.

4. The kid survives. You also know how I feel about killing children.

5. Everyone takes the movie WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. Again, the premise is that a huge rouge wave totally capsizes a cruise ship. Then a bunch of people have to escape by climbing out the 'bottom' of the ship.
What part of this plot screams serious drama?

The horror! The worst re-make of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

I'm not sure that this counts as a disaster movie, even with my rather loose interpretation.

But I love Jules Verne.

So I figured I'd try it out on Netflix.

All I have to say is AHH.

Bad actors.

Bad dialogue.

Way too many liberties taken with the characters and plot line.

Sexist remarks from Captain Nemo with a little creepy rapist vibe.
I'm not joking.
He wants to keep Sophie (the new character) as his prisoner after the others are let go.
The Nautilus is NOT supposed to be a rapists den.

Basically, my worst nightmare.

They've ruined a wonderful book and created a movie that isn't even a good shlock.

It's just wrong.

Yuck.

Really. Who would't like spy gadgets and cute accents?

I've become a big fan of MI-5 (Spooks in the UK).

It's gotten so bad that I've stopped renting disaster movies, or really any kind of movies so that I can watch every single episode of this show as quickly as possible.

I recently had to put the obsession on hold (graduate school got in the way!).

But as soon as I get the work under control for this last term, I'm heading back to the world of British spy-craft.

I'm not surprised I like MI-5.

Almost every episode is like a mini-disaster movie.

The nice Brits have stopped at least 2 nuclear attacks, several bombings, a few assassinations and 1 fake act of biological warfare.

All of the violence and gratuitous killing off of main characters (yes, gratuitous. It's not necessary to kill off nice nerdy members of the team and make me cry) has made me think a little bit about why I enjoy the show.

Other than the aforementioned mini-disaster aspect.

Some of it is the gadgets. Some of it is the accents. I find both fun.

But I think at least a little of the appeal is the team dynamic and gender dynamics.
All of the MI-5 agents struggle with lying to their friends and family, the constant danger etc.
The female characters certainly show emotion, but they aren't given to panicking or becoming hysterical.
As for the male characters, its nice to see even some stodgy British spies cry. I like that MI-5 is one episode at a time providing a rather nice template for strong men who feel.

While the show is not without faults (we get it..terrorists can come from the Middle East...thanks for the memo), I'm sticking with it until my grades start to suffer.
And probably even after that point.

The two Corey's should have been warning enough..

Very sleepy, but I should have known.

Watched Lost Boys..which is the 80's take on a vampire movie.

Best line "One thing I never could stand about Santa Carla was the damn vampires."

Not so funny out of context. Kind of funny at the end of the movie.

Otherwise, not a huge fan.

I don't think the 80's was a good decade for disaster movies.

From now on I'm sticking with the classics and the most recent fare. I'll take campy any day, but is there a word for something that's campy, but still bad?

Ironically campy?

I'm on a classics spree

I must say, there's something to be said for the classics.

Invasion of the Bodysnatchers..

Favorite line so far:

"Doctor, is this an example of your bedside manner?"
"No, that comes later."

I like that this was made long before CGI existed.
So it's cheesy and the effects are minimal, but it forces everyone to actually act!
Or at least give it their best effort.
Plus, if you don't have much to work with for effects, you have to create suspense.

The body count is impossible to determine, but basically the whole town has been turned into mindless automatrons.

I'm liking the movie..plot holes the size of Pluto and all.
And yes, I chose Pluto because it may no longer be a planet, but it's still pretty darn big.
Oh, and the movie is about aliens. Or at least pod-like things from space.
So the Pluto connection makes sense.

They tried to Jaws 2 the blob! Explanation below...

At 30 minutes into the movie:
Death count: 3
Hysterical female count: 1
Hysterical male count: 1

Not a bad ratio really. Already have multiple people turned to mush in the blob, and the hysterics seem to be equally distributed. The effects aren't half bad either considering it was made in 1958.

Have to wait and see how this plays out...

Oh wait. 40 minutes in.. a woman just said "I'll take care of this..it's my job." And by her job, she means cleaning. Since it's a woman's job to clean, and it's the man's job to find the scary criminals.

60 minutes in:
Death count: 3+ (hard to tell when they don't show anyone getting blobbed!)
Hysterical female count: 2
Hysterical male count: 1


70 minutes in:
Classic blob pouring out of the movie theater scene. And some stupid kid trying to shoot the blob with a toy gun. Kids are silly..but I'm pretty sure the blog is going to follow the rules and let the (stupid) kid survive.

And I think they're going to try and Jaws 2 the blob. For those of you unfamiliar with this monster killing technique, it means trying to electrocute it with a power line. Although, since the Blob came first I guess Jaws 2 stole the idea. And then Buffy stole it to kill a creepy monster in a tub. Long story on that one!

And they tried the Jaws 2 to no avail..but apparently the blob doesn't like cold! Which makes PERFECT SENSE since the blob survived a journey through space with no problem. Oh well, at least they figured out a way to kill the blob and save Steve, the only mildly annoying girlfriend and the super annoying kid.

Also, the death count (apparently) rests at about 40-50 people. Sadly, we only saw the first three blob deaths.

The Blob!

Classic disaster flick coming right up..!

It's official. Inferno is the worst disaster movie..ever

I can't believe I sat through all 90 minutes of the monstrosity otherwise known as Inferno.

I should have sent it back when I realized the only A-lister was actually a Z-lister (Al, the sidekick from Quantum Leap).

I should have sent it back when I realized it was the 9th choice on imdb for the title "Inferno"

I should have sent it back when I realized that the main character was a woman who vaguely resembled Jodi Foster. I don't like when they cast look-a-likes. It's deceitful & tricky.

I should have sent it back when I realized that they cast some girl as the look-a-like's daughter because she must have been the only girl n the universe willing to say these lines. They certainly didn't cast her for her acting ability.


But nooo I didn't send it back. I watched the ENTIRE movie.

It was painful.
Bad acting.
Terrible dialogue.
ZERO dead bodies.

All in all, a total waste of my time and blogging.


The only (and I really mean only) redeeming aspect of the movie was the gender dynamics. The main character is a woman firefighter, and there was a lot of tension between her and the 'old boys' firefighting network in the small town.

The movie was awful, but at least it had a genuine butt-kicking heroic female main character.

Most of the times I have to rant and rave about women being portrayed as hysterical and/or sidekicks in disaster movies.

Hmm. Now I think I'm going to have to make a list of movies that have female characters who aren't useless. I'm betting that the majority of blockbuster disaster movies will be lacking, while the low budget ones will fare a little better.

Figures. The crappy movies that nobody watches (except me of course!) will likely have better female characters..

I think JP2 is going to be a small screen watch

Uh oh..I'm already a little scared by Jurassic Park 2. I think I'm going to watch it on small screen (you know, where you make the video half size) so any eating and rampaging is a little less intense.

Also, I'm not sure how I feel about the first scene. If they killed the little girl I'm going to annoyed that they broke the children remain unharmed rule. Although, she did break the cardinal 'don't wander off alone' in a scary area rule.

I'm also pretty sure that was vintage Camilla Belle with a British accent.

No A-lister? Not a good sign

Unless you count the guy who played Ethan Rayne (Buffy reference!), or maybe some guy named Mark Sheppard who has guest-starred in almost every TV show Megalodon totally lacks an A-lister.

Anaconda: 4 (I'm being generous and counting JLo)
Deep Blue Sea: 2
Volcano: 2
Dante's Peak: 1.5 (Linda Hamilton is cool..but only to geeky SciFi buffs)
Megalodon: 0

I'll let this fact slide for now and see if the sheer stupidity of the script makes the movie enjoyable. Given the effects so far I think I can easily expect a lot of low-budget carnage.

Although we are 23 minutes in and the body count is at ZERO. Where's the requisite unexplained tourist death??

31 minutes in: some type of prehistoric fish attacked someone, but he survived...
1 hour in: 1 guy dead, but just because the shark ate his sub. No carnage.
1 hour 5 minutes: another death by sub chomping. Again, no carnage.
1 hour 7 minutes: I think some guy just got eaten, but I couldn't even tell because there was NO blood splatter, or screaming, or chomping. What kind of shark movie is this anyway??

Then, they just blew up the shark. One more guy died in the explosion, but it was barely dramatic. At the end we see that maybe the Megalodon released by the drilling (yeah yeah, it's a stupid plot device) wasn't the only one. Big shock...

I'm disappointed. No A-listers, no carnage, stock footage of sharks, and almost an hour and a half wasted. I should have just re-watched Jaws.