Friday, April 10

Next Up: The Mysterious 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea the Sequel

I've discovered a new rule thanks to watching Mysterious Island:

Don't ever say "what if the rumors about this scary/creepy/strange island are true." If there are rumors, they are definitely true and you are definitely going to die.

And, some things I've learned:
1. Confederate prison camps were staffed by hot, skimpily dressed women (like Fiona from that spy television show Burn Notice).
Seriously. Was there really that much cleavage on display??

2. Holy crap. Movie makers have no shame. They will actually have a hapless human get eaten headfirst by a HUGE praying mantis. Like T-Rex sized.

3. Rather famous actors will do anything when they're between jobs. Even Patrick Stewart.
Soon to be famous actors make movies that will later shame them, like Kyle MacLachlan (Sex & the City, Desp. Housewives).

4. A balloon coming from America can get all the way to the South Pacific with little food, water and a gaggle of people.

5. Really huge rodents have bred...they can now be found in both The Princess Bride and The Mysterious Island.

6. The Mysterious Island is the most derivative movie ever made. In fact, it may be the most egregious example of pure-plot stealing that I've ever seen. Especially for a movie based on a book. Despite a totally unique original storyline, so far we have:
1. Really large rodents (Princess Bride)--see above
2. Pirates looking for a cursed island (every Pirate movie)
3. Pirates attack (Swiss Family Robinson..the movie, not the book)
4. Large snakes (Anaconda)
5. Compound with an electrified fence (Jurassic Park)
6. Small people, big ants (Honey I Shrunk the Kids)