DM throwback post: Day of the Triffids Mini Series?

I have a weird habit--I search imdb for former A/B list actors and then see if they have made any movies that I might enjoy.

Why former A/B listers only?
Becasue they make all of the 'good' made for TV disaster movies of course!
Nothing like a former A or B lister slumming it up in another snake/shark/catastrophe/tornado movie!

I was trying to look up a specicic original 90210 cast member earlier today, and couldnt' remember the right name. So I guessed, and ended up on the wrong page [note to self: do not confuse Jason Priestly with Luke Perry].

Well,  it all turned out for the best!
Seems Mr. Priestly was recently involved in a remake of The Day of the Triffids, which is one of my favorite creature feature mini-series.

I think that the new version is a BBC remake? But I can't find any release information.
I did find a link for the blu-ray edition (Day of the Triffids [Blu-ray])of the DVD, but it's not even available right now.

Guess I'll have to wait and see if it shows up in Netfix?

Throwback Disaster Musings post: VIPERS!

Tara Reid might just be my new favorite actress, if only because she seems totally willing to keep a straight face and give it her all in a movie like Vipers.

Although, I'm not sure 'actress' is the right word. Perhaps we need a new name for this type of endeavor. Actually, I think that all SciFi (or is it now ScyFy? Or ScyFi?) stock cast members should fall into a special category. They're not quite ready to throw in the towel and head over to a soap opera, but they appreciate the paycheck and screen time of a made-for-tv SciFi movie enough that they will participate in such cinematic gems as : Vipers, Supergator, and the upcoming Sharktopus.

Anyway, back to Tara Reid and co in Vipers..where a small town on a

rural west coast island (I’m assuming off the coast of Oregon or perhaps Washington State) is overrun with genetically enhanced vipers.

If you ignore the plot holes the size of Texas—which shouldn’t be hard given the fact that you’ve already committed to spending 2 hours of your life watching a movie called Vipers—this was actually one of the better creature features I’ve seen in recent years.

This does not mean that Vipers is actually good, just better than some of the others I’ve seen recently.

I think this has something to do with the fact that CGI snakes do not look nearly as fake as some others, especially when they are small. There have been plenty of snake movies made in the past few years and I think they’ve kind of gotten the hang of making the gross little hissing things look OK.

The movie was also really smart about the actual attacks. Although there was plenty of fake blood spraying around, we didn’t have to suffer through any weird slow-motion close ups of teeth chomping on still writhing and screaming victims (more on this later..thanks to my 2 hours of time spent with Supergator).

Tara Reid manages to be both slightly nauseating in her emotional scenes and nominally credible in her action 'lets kill the snake scenes'. I think she missed her calling with all of those American Pie movies! She's actually pretty fierce when she's trying to protect all of her people from creepy crawlers.

Overall, I appreciated that:

1. Not every female character was a complete ninny

2. Had a few B/C list actors slumming it up in a made for tv snake movie

3. The rules were followed: sex=death, adultery=death, and being a child=safe!

and

4. Despite this being a creature feature at least 1 character died in a totally bizarre and non-snake related manner.

While this is clearly a B-horror movie due to campiness, slumming actors and its made-for-tv status..I'm actually a fan! Go Vipers!

ps. Also loving the fact that random Buffy characters are starting to pop up in these movies..woohoo!

Usually scared of zombie/horror movies..but what an interesting idea behind "The Crazies!"

Usually I'm kind of a chicken when it comes to zombie/horror films.
I like the idea (death, doom, gloom) but not all of the brain eating and gore.
I did actually enjoy Zombieland quite a bit, but I still spent a good portion of the film making squeaking noises and trying not to hide.

Anyway, I didn't really have any intention of seeing "The Crazies" in theatres, despite the fact that it stars Timothy Olyphant and I feel a general need to support his work. Since I loved "Deadwood" and I now feel like I should try to ensure his success in other projects..I know, I'm a little nutty.

The previews made the movie look scary, and I like my movies to be heavy on the total annihilation of the plant/citizens and light on the technicolor blood.
Apparently though, there is a whole subtext to the movie that I had not considered.

According to a NYTimes article, this seemingly innocuous horror movie was chosen very carefully. The film is partially backed by Participant, a politically focused film company founded by the first president of eBay.

They seem to think that "The Crazies" provides a venue for political and social discourse--especially as the plot directly relates to issues of weapons security and the purity of water.

While it's not exactly unusual to find rather heavy-handed messages in disaster and/or horror movies (think The Day After tomorrow: ignore climate chance and DIE), I think it's interesting that the movie was produced almost entirely to address ecological and political issues. I guess this would be less surprising in a documentary, or even drama. But a full-tilt horror movie seems like a more original venue to preach this type of message.

Still not sure I'll see it in the theatres..but perhaps I'll now add it to my netflix Q.
Then I can make the screen extra tiny on my computer and hide when it gets gross!

Disaster movie shorthand: Tornado with (!)= B movie fun. Tornado without (!)= bad

Turns out I learned something today.
The movie Tornado! from 1996 is a campy yet fun disaster movie.
The 1994 movie Tornado ( no exclamation piont), is a super strange gypsy curse/devil worship movie that involves what appears to be a vengeful tornado god.

At first, I thought it was going to be a nice straightforward weather menace movie.
The opening scene involves a small boy watching his father get blown away by a tornado.
Seemed like a good start. A little derivative perhaps (a la Twister), but very acceptable.

Then the movie cuts away. The little boy is suddenly all grown up..and talking to his amulet!

I have no idea how/why the amulet is connected to the weather.
I also have no idea why the father had some type of special amulet.

I'm now an hour and a half into this movie, and I still have NO idea why this guy has a special gypsy amulet, or how his family is at all connected to the tornado god.
I also have no idea what the tornado god is doing in a movie at all.
Or why the tornado god is involved with devil worshipers.
Or why there are gypsies in the story.

Really, not a clue.
The only reason I keep watching is to see if they have someone explain the whole darn plot at the end.

So far I've seen 3 tornadoes, and 1 of them occurred in some sort of nightmare sequence.
Some sort of scary face just appeared in the most recent tornado.
I'm assuming that it's the tornado god?

Apparently the tornado god likes eating helicopters, and shooting lightening at the ground.
Normally I'd be opposed to tornadoes having faces, but since the sequence just increased the death count by 5 or 6, I'm feeling forgiving.

Basically, this version of Tornado gets an "F."
No slumming A-list or B-list actors, terrible special effects, nonsensical plot, and NO MASS CARNAGE.


UPDATE:
End of movie. No explanation. The "F" stands.

Emergency medical service guys are just like ninjas! Aka, my return to blogging

I lost a little of my movie watching mojo over the past few weeks.

I finished my 1st year of grad school (woohoo), went to Italy, moved to NY and started a new job. Somehow blogging just fell by the wayside.

Luckily, Netflix knows me and kept the movies coming.

After catching up on some MI-5, I returned to disaster movies with a classic (kind of..it's from '96): Daylight.

I think it might be the only Sylvester Stallone movie I've ever intentionally watched.

Before you ask, no, have not seen Rocky and I have little to no interest in movies that involve fists to the face.

Anyway, Daylight is the perfect disaster movie for a recent NY transplant..because now I NEVER EVER want to leave the city. If I do, a totally implausible explosion might trap me in the tunnel as the water rushes in and noxious fumes fill the air.

Eek! Scary!

If I'm lucky, Viggo Mortensen might be around (A-list alert!) to try and save the day. Or, a pre-botox Amy Brenneman could hold my hand if I'm scared (B lister with A list name recognition!).

Anyway, I learned a few important things from Daylight.

1. Emergency medical service guys are just like ninjas . Or something like that..they definitely have crazy skills that run the gambit from rappelling to firefighting to blowing things up.

2. Amy Brenneman has become more botoxed, but far less shrill with age. I think I prefer her not being able to move her face. The hyperventilating in this movie was a little annoying.

3. Any disaster movie that involves an older adult couple with inevitably steal from a true classic like Poseidon (ie the feisty older woman dies unexpectedly..leaving the wimpier husband all alone).

4. Tunnels are scary.

I'm not sure "It's supposed to be a B-movie" really counts as a defense...

I'm still giving Tornado a D.

I know it's a shlocky made for TV movie.

But it took itself way too seriously.

The young couple was cute, perky and sooo country.
They didn't take their clothing off, so of course, they survived.

But where's the fun in that?

And all the warnings about global warming?
Come on!
If you're going to do a doomsday movie, at least make it over the top.

I get that it was a made for TV movie (which is really the ONLY reason all those terrible fades and cuts were acceptable), but that's really all they could do?

NO carnage.
NO real drama.
NO charisma between the leads.

Although, it did have Ernie Hudson (of Ghostbuster fame).
Not really an A lister. Maybe a B lister with A lister face recognition.
But still something.

Almost worth watching just to see him salvage the movie.
Almost.

2nd best fire movie..

Ok, so that's not really a fair title.

I've only really seen 2 fire-based disaster movies.

The Towering Inferno, and Backdraft.

The Towering Inferno was the far superior film, but Backdraft was enjoyable.

Partially because of the AWESOME late 1980s/early 1990's outfits.

Please do not let jeweled jackets and shoulder pads come back.

They make movies funny, but do not make real people look cute.

Anyway, Backdraft follows a family of firefighters in Chicago.

Lots of chest-thumping male bonding, but still kind of endearing.

The two grown up brothers (Kurt Russell and one of the Baldwins..the not cute one) are both scarred by the death of their father.

Kurt acts out by being risky and overly heroic.

The unattractive Baldwin tries to run from his past, only to return and embrace that firefighting is in his blood.

There's a minor love story going on, and the movie also follows a series of mysterious arson cases.

The arson investigator is a firefighter played by Robert De Niro.

So, some things I've learned:

1. Ron Howard can save almost any movie. Even a movie that relies upon the 'acting' skills of William Baldwin and Jennifer Jason Leigh.
2. Robert De Niro plays grumpy but dedicated characters really well.
3. Backdrafts are really scary.
4. Plot is almost superfluous when you have lots of cool fire scenes. Which is probably good, given that the plot in this movie is almost superfluous anyway.


Overall, I liked the fire scenes. I also really liked that the (dead) burn victims are somehow not very scary. The one firefighter who is badly injured is just shown all wrapped in bandages. I really really appreciated that they didn't go for shock value.

Also, no kids died. So I was pleased.

Try 2: The Mysterious Island, 1961 version

I'm on a Jules Verne kick.

Not sure why since the last few adaptations have been horrendous.

So far, this one is better.

Still have a few giant animals (maybe I need to re-read the book?), but better.

Although, it's definitely showing it's age.

Apparently the womenfolk are only good for adding 'homey touches' to the cave, while the men do real work.

Oh, and fainting.
I wish the huge turkey (chicken? some type of fowl?) had killed the hysterical female character. At least her aunt had enough sense to attack the thing instead of screaming like a ninny.

This is not The Mysterious Island. It's some pirate movie with a few stolen characters..

I think I need to give up on the Jules Verne adaptations.

The only half-decent one I've seen recently involved Brendan Fraser.
That should tell you something about the quality of the movie.
Actually, that's unfair.
I did kind of enjoy the movie.
It was a new adaptation of Journey to the Center of the Earth.
Shlocky, but fun.

Anyway, I digress.

The movie I'm watching now, is supposed to be The Mysterious Island.

This is not a retelling of the book written by Jules Verne.

It's more like a movie that includes some characters and settings that kind of resembles something written by Jules Verne.

It's like that new zombie Pride and Prejudice book. They had to include Jane Austen in the authorship because she created the characters.

Similar situation here. Except replace zombies and Jane Austen with strangely large animals and Jules Verne.

In fact, it really has nothing to do with the book by Jules Verne.

The book did NOT have large rodents.
In fact, it did not have abnormally large animals of any sort.
It also did not have pirates.
Or a weird love story.

Poor Captain Nemo. He would be so ashamed.

Next Up: The Mysterious Island...ie 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea the Sequel

I've discovered a new rule thanks to watching Mysterious Island:

Don't ever say "what if the rumors about this scary/creepy/strange island are true." If there are rumors, they are definitely true and you are definitely going to die.


And, some things I've learned:
1. Confederate prison camps were staffed by hot, skimpily dressed women (like Fiona from that spy television show Burn Notice).
Seriously. Was there really that much cleavage on display??

2. Holy crap. Movie makers have no shame. They will actually have a hapless human get eaten headfirst by a HUGE praying mantis. Like T-Rex sized.

3. Rather famous actors will do anything when they're between jobs. Even Patrick Stewart.
Soon to be famous actors make movies that will later shame them, like Kyle MacLachlan (Sex & the City, Desp. Housewives).

4. A balloon coming from America can get all the way to the South Pacific with little food, water and a gaggle of people.

5. Really huge rodents have bred...they can now be found in both The Princess Bride and The Mysterious Island.

6. The Mysterious Island is the most derivative movie ever made. In fact, it may be the most egregious example of pure-plot stealing that I've ever seen. Especially for a movie based on a book. Despite a totally unique original storyline, so far we have:
1. Really large rodents (Princess Bride)--see above
2. Pirates looking for a cursed island (every Pirate movie)
3. Pirates attack (Swiss Family Robinson..the movie, not the book)
4. Large snakes (Anaconda)
5. Compound with an electrified fence (Jurassic Park)
6. Small people, big ants (Honey I Shrunk the Kids)

Sticking with Poseidon

I'm still convinced Poseidon is not nearly as bad as everyone thinks:

1. Really a pretty decent cast. Josh Lucas, Kurt Russel, and Richard Dreyfuss.
Although I think I have a weak-spot when it comes to Richard Dreyfuss.
Just because of Jaws.

2. The budget on this was HUGE. In disaster movies you have two options: go big, or go kind of silly. However you feel about the possibility (or lack thereof) of a ship being turned upside down by a rogue wave, the effects weren't bad.

3. The annoying hysterical female character died. You know how I feel about hysterical women.

4. The kid survives. You also know how I feel about killing children.

5. Everyone takes the movie WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. Again, the premise is that a huge rouge wave totally capsizes a cruise ship. Then a bunch of people have to escape by climbing out the 'bottom' of the ship.
What part of this plot screams serious drama?

The horror! The worst re-make of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

I'm not sure that this counts as a disaster movie, even with my rather loose interpretation.

But I love Jules Verne.

So I figured I'd try it out on Netflix.

All I have to say is AHH.

Bad actors.

Bad dialogue.

Way too many liberties taken with the characters and plot line.

Sexist remarks from Captain Nemo with a little creepy rapist vibe.
I'm not joking.
He wants to keep Sophie (the new character) as his prisoner after the others are let go.
The Nautilus is NOT supposed to be a rapists den.

Basically, my worst nightmare.

They've ruined a wonderful book and created a movie that isn't even a good shlock.

It's just wrong.

Yuck.

Figured out how not to hate Charlton Heston..just make sure the cast is all men

I think the title of the post says it all.

I usually find Charlton Heston really irritating.
I've shared my feelings.

He didn't annoy me quite as much in Gray Lady Down.

I think I know why.

There were only 2 women in the movie.
They had a combined total screen time of like 5 minutes, and
did not overlap at all with Charlton.

That seems to be the saving grace for any movie with Charlton.

If there aren't women nearby he can't bully them into submission.

Overall it was a tolerable sub movie.

High on the drama and low on the special effects
(but that it totally understandable given it was made in 1978).

Overall, I'd give it a solid C. If I'm going to watch a dramatic sub movie I'd much rather watch U-571. And no, I do not want to discuss the fact that U-571 is a totally inaccurate portrayal of the time period and American involvement.

I'm a fan of the pre-sellout Matthew McConaughey
(which reminds me..if he makes 1 more romantic comedy I might have to
devote an entire rant to his recently dive into mindless crap).

Actually, I'm pretty sure U-571 stole a few key plot points from Gray Lady Down (heroic young guy drowning while holding a lever open, valiant captain wrestling with his sense of duty)..but I still prefer it and not just because Charlton is nowhere to be found.

Possible misogyny coming right up..trying 1 more Charlton Heston disaster flick!

Ok.

Most people know how I feel about Charlton Heston.

Not as the gun-toting kind of sad version (thanks Michael Moore for making him actually seem a little sympathetic).

I mean as his movie persona.

Larger than life.

Pushy. Misogynist.

A big fan of smacking/shaking/deriding 'hysterical' women.

Well, I'm giving him another chance.

According to the Netflix reviews, Gray Lady Down isn't a 'typical macho Navy movie.'

Which to me, sound a little paradoxical. How can a movie about the Navy not be kind of macho?

But I'm going to give it (and Charlton) a shot.

The 2 Coreys are back..I think

As if The Lost Boys wasn't bad enough, I decided to go ahead and watch the straight to DVD sequel.

That girl who was on the OC is in it..No not the annoying one or Summer..the one from the final season. I can't remember her name! I'll imdb it later.

Anyway, so far I've learned:

1. Being a slutty vampire chick is bad. Apparently this movie likes shaming: women & sluts. Oh, and vampires. But I can't really fault them for that part.
2. All girls are sluts. Oh, and the punishment for hoeing around? You either a) get killed (see above) or b) get semi-turned into a vampire.

At first I was kind of heartened to see that the main vampire character was going to be a girl. Kind of a new twist (at least from the original Lost Boys).

Sadly, I think that the gratuitous violence (I've now seen intestines MULTIPLE times) and sex isn't going anywhere interesting.

The two Corey's should have been warning enough..

Very sleepy, but I should have known.

Watched Lost Boys..which is the 80's take on a vampire movie.

Best line "One thing I never could stand about Santa Carla was the damn vampires."

Not so funny out of context. Kind of funny at the end of the movie.

Otherwise, not a huge fan.

I don't think the 80's was a good decade for disaster movies.

From now on I'm sticking with the classics and the most recent fare. I'll take campy any day, but is there a word for something that's campy, but still bad?

Ironically campy?

AMC=AWFUL

Ok, I know this is the second totally random post in 1 day.

But, just wanted to share my annoying Friday night story.

Tried to see a movie with 3 friends.

Bought tickets ($10..eek!) and got to see all but the last 10-15 minutes.

Then, someone (youth! 30 rock reference for those of you who care) probably pulled a fire alarm.
In any case, sirens went off and we had to evacuate.

I understand that these things happen.
It was cold, but no big deal standing outside for a few minutes.

Until we tried to get back into the theater and found the doors were locked.

I know it was the last show..but shouldn't there be at least 1 employee around in case of an emergency?

Instead, they all left.

So I didn't get to see the end of my movie. Or a free ticket.

I would have been happy with either.

Not happy at all..and not going back to the AMC in Towson!

I'm on a classics spree

I must say, there's something to be said for the classics.

Invasion of the Bodysnatchers..

Favorite line so far:

"Doctor, is this an example of your bedside manner?"
"No, that comes later."

I like that this was made long before CGI existed.
So it's cheesy and the effects are minimal, but it forces everyone to actually act!
Or at least give it their best effort.
Plus, if you don't have much to work with for effects, you have to create suspense.

The body count is impossible to determine, but basically the whole town has been turned into mindless automatrons.

I'm liking the movie..plot holes the size of Pluto and all.
And yes, I chose Pluto because it may no longer be a planet, but it's still pretty darn big.
Oh, and the movie is about aliens. Or at least pod-like things from space.
So the Pluto connection makes sense.

Setup for a blob sequel??

I wonder if they made a blob sequel. Does anyone know?? The movie definitely set up quite the potential premise:

The blob was dropped in the arctic at the end of the movie (cold=bad). Well, then stupid Steve had to go ahead and say something like, "Well I guess we're safe.. as long as the arctic stays cold."

What a great idea. Lets make a disaster movie that incorporates the polar ice caps melting, global warming..and the return of THE BLOB!

I'd rent it.

They tried to Jaws 2 the blob! Explanation below...

At 30 minutes into the movie:
Death count: 3
Hysterical female count: 1
Hysterical male count: 1

Not a bad ratio really. Already have multiple people turned to mush in the blob, and the hysterics seem to be equally distributed. The effects aren't half bad either considering it was made in 1958.

Have to wait and see how this plays out...

Oh wait. 40 minutes in.. a woman just said "I'll take care of this..it's my job." And by her job, she means cleaning. Since it's a woman's job to clean, and it's the man's job to find the scary criminals.

60 minutes in:
Death count: 3+ (hard to tell when they don't show anyone getting blobbed!)
Hysterical female count: 2
Hysterical male count: 1


70 minutes in:
Classic blob pouring out of the movie theater scene. And some stupid kid trying to shoot the blob with a toy gun. Kids are silly..but I'm pretty sure the blog is going to follow the rules and let the (stupid) kid survive.

And I think they're going to try and Jaws 2 the blob. For those of you unfamiliar with this monster killing technique, it means trying to electrocute it with a power line. Although, since the Blob came first I guess Jaws 2 stole the idea. And then Buffy stole it to kill a creepy monster in a tub. Long story on that one!

And they tried the Jaws 2 to no avail..but apparently the blob doesn't like cold! Which makes PERFECT SENSE since the blob survived a journey through space with no problem. Oh well, at least they figured out a way to kill the blob and save Steve, the only mildly annoying girlfriend and the super annoying kid.

Also, the death count (apparently) rests at about 40-50 people. Sadly, we only saw the first three blob deaths.