Thursday, October 22

Warning: Website rant about men/abortion/choice debate coming right up..!

Despite what I wrote in the title of this post, I'm not going to spend a lot of time actually thinking/debating/pontificating about the message of the anti-choice website

I think the name of the site makes their stance pretty clear. My stance is more along the lines of: women and their families should have absolute control over reproductive outcomes, and legislators should respect the intelligence and morality of allowing for individuals to make their own choices. Off soapbox now..because I don't see any member of choicekills changing their mind, and I'm not about to soften my stance against people who cannot respect the complexity of the world and the need for a nuanced approach to any importance decision.

What I will say about this particular site and their message is that they seem especially paternalistic.
The entire site assumes that anti-choice messaging is really only important for women. There is not a single male featured in any of the photos, or included in any of the 'stories' about women who regret having an abortion.
Despite the fact that a man is almost always involved in the creation of a fetus, their only message to the entire sex is this:

It's a supporting role but crucial. They can help by discussing Choice's deceptive invitation to a tragic personal reality. They can encourage and praise your willingness to help save other young women from this awful situation. They can show their support by accompanying you in public by wearing a ChoiceKills T-shirt. They can also help by arranging a Choice Kills Billboard and by using the bumper sticker.

I think I find this statement particularly frustrating becomes it assumes such a level of disengagement. Instead of promoting the importance of safe sex for both partners, or discussing the importance of healthy relationships in which you can discuss your personal desires for (or against) having children, it relegates men to the lofty position of purse holder. While I think it would be equally dangerous to tell men that their thoughts/beliefs about abortion are more important than those of their partner, this message just seems so antiquated.

It's so sad that we have websites telling young men that their purpose is to support their partner only if she's willing to harass or shame a friend into continuing with an unwanted or perhaps dangerous pregnancy.

Shouldn't we instead be telling men that they should be simply supporting their partners?